There is no roadmap for men to follow to get inside
of a woman’s head, because half of the time,
women don’t know either. Let’s take a trip into the
woman psyche. For women who have been in a
long-term relationship, they begin to find themselves
as one with their partner. Naturally, because of the
day-in-day-out influence of their significant other,
both partners begin to pick up minute habits,
and even character traits (which may pend on the
more dominate partner). Even an action as simple
as brushing ones teeth in the shower can be a habit
to pick up. Either way, both partners will always
alter a portion of their behavior due to the influence
of the other partner.
Thus, the woman will unconsciously or consciously
begin to mold herself into a different version of herself. She is, in a sense, two different people;
herself, and the person she has molded herself into, marginally different from the way she
was before. When a woman is in a long term relationship with a partner, she unites and
they become a team; this factors in with personality molding. In the event of a breakup,
this has a colossal effect on the woman both physically and mentally.
Overall, when enduring a breakup, her mind is consumed with agony and will only be
liberated with time, support, occupancy, and strength. As she begins to go through
the recovery stage, she will try to reinvent herself because she suddenly realizes that
this whole time she was involved with this person, she became another her and now
has to decide which diminutive traits or habits she wants to filter out. The stronger
and more intellectual a woman is, she will already have done some auto-filtering
while exposed to certain habits from her partner during their relationship.
Therefore, in the event of a breakup, she has already filtered out the character traits
that she does not wish to keep, or, filtered in the traits she wishes to keep.
During this recovery stage, when the woman begins dating, she will struggle with
acceptance and openness towards the new guy because she will constantly compare
him to her ex. Unfortunately, in the beginning, the ex will always win the comparing
battle because that’s what she is use to, and that’s what she knows. She will continue
to go back to the “smelly nest” because everyone wants to go back to what they are
used to, and what they know, no matter how unsatisfying. Opening up to something
new is work and time, it’s a new mentality. Even though this may pour a little salt on
the wound, she may desire to step out, date, mingle and have fun. She will need to feel
that sense of confidence in herself. She has to approach this in a totally new perspective
because it is not common. She doesn’t know this person; he has no idea about her.
Now, she has to open up. It’s about asking questions, it’s about the chemistry.
Chemistry is something that cannot be planned for, it’s just what comes, and it’s natural
only if the shoe fits. So now the big questions is, where can I find someone that I ‘am
physically and mentally attracted to and we just have a connection? Where can I find
someone who doesn’t possess all of my little pet-peeves and all those little idiosyncrasies
that I dislike? It’s going to take time and willingness to date.
Some women are confident and intelligent enough to know that there should be no
regrets, we learn from every experience and every relationship. People come into our
life for a reason, a season, and a lifetime. We all learn from everyone and should be
filtering in and out the good and the bad. There is no roadmap, we cannot predict the
future, we cannot read minds, but we can stay tuned in to ourselves and our partners.
Strength, independence, openness, growth, and communication are essential.
(a.k.a. Jerry Flanagan)
(a.k.a. people that helped present this blog post):
1. Thanks to Erika Hendrickson, for writing the article.
2. Thanks to Jacquelyn Clement for the styln photo shoot.
3. Thanks to all my 10,000+ fans in social media land! Appreciate you. Peace.